


A Cloudy Day

by rawrlsy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blind AU, Boys Kissing, College, Death, Established Relationship, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, One Shot, Restaurants, Snow, Touching, angsty, shocking, slice of life like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-05-26 20:50:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6255340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rawrlsy/pseuds/rawrlsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Kageyama can do while his genetic disorder claims his ability to see is to wait for darkness to completely envelop his vision. But, he doesn't have to face the challenges alone. Hinata urges him forward, like a ray of sun piercing the ebbing night sky, and slowly, their lives fall into a rhythm that is different from before but somewhat familiar. With normalcy returned to them, they happily live in each other's company until something crashes into their lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Cloudy Day

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first long piece! I finished it in a sitting, so I may have glanced over some grammar errors. Let me know if you see anything!
> 
> Some things to point out:
> 
> 1\. BlindAU was actually inspired by an artist on tumblr, [craziiwolf.](http://craziiwolf.tumblr.com/) I really need to give her credit, because her art influenced me in my work here. Her art is amazing, check her out!
> 
> 2\. This piece progresses in a linear fashion, where time leaps are denoted by three dashes: "---" Some time leaps are months apart, while others are only a few minutes apart. You will know how long each time leaps are within the section.
> 
> 3\. When I name the classical piece of music that Kageyama mentions, _listen to it_. Just to enhance the feeling, if you'd like. Here's a link to it: [Samuel Barber's "Adiago for Strings."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izQsgE0L450)
> 
> So, that's it for notes, I think! Please leave me any feedback on what I did right, what I did wrong, and how I can become better! If you have any questions, let me know also! Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope you enjoy reading it just as much as I enjoyed writing it! <3

Kageyama’s hands were clutched together, shaking as he sat on the stool in his doctor’s office, feeling completely isolated despite Hinata’s warm hand on his arm. Tears stubbornly dripped out of his eyes, blurring what little he could still see.

“It’s been twenty years. Ever since he was born,” Hinata started when Kageyama’s voice failed him. He gripped on Kageyama’s arm tighter, and Kageyama didn’t know whether it was to reassure Hinata or himself. “There’s got to be something you can do. Something. _Anything._ You have no idea how hard it’s been –” Hinata stopped himself from speaking further. Kageyama could hear Hinata’s voice catch, his breathing becoming more labored. Kageyama felt a stab of pain in his heart. He closed his eyes. He wished he had something to distract himself from this nightmare.

“I understand the troubles you two must have gone through,” the doctor said in a soothing tone.

“Then if you understand,” Hinata said, a little louder this time, “why don’t you have the solution you promised?”

“Hinata,” Kageyama said softly. But, he was too quiet for Hinata to hear him. Kageyama clutched his fingers with so much force he began to tremble.

_Would I ever touch a volleyball with these fingers again…?_

_Would I ever play with Hinata again…?_

_Would I ever see…?_

Kageyama could hear a soft, metallic sound in front of him. He knew the doctors wore glasses – was he pushing them up his nose? Kageyama looked up out of habit, immediately regretting it when what he saw was nothing but a small blur surrounded by the ever-growing presence of darkness.

Such a simple thing to see, but just out of his sight

“Hinata-san and Kageyama-san,” the doctor began again. “Kageyama-san’s sight has been deteriorating since his birth. We have known that his genetic condition would quickly accelerate over the course of a few unpredictable months. Days, even.” The doctor cleared his throat, the noise grating against Kageyama’s ears. “Nothing could be done to the eyes, because that is what is exactly being affected. We must keep our solutions open. There will be others, I assure you. We just have to wait patiently, or look into other possibilities to Kageyama-san’s –”

“Kageyama has waited for _twenty years_.” Kageyama could envision Hinata’s frustrated face.

“Yes, I understand.”

“No, I don’t think you do,” Hinata said angrily.

“Hinata-san, please try to see where I am coming from. There was nothing, _nothing_ we could do to repair Kageyama-san’s eyes as they are. The best solution we had was to wait for his eyes to run their course, and then administer proper procedures from there. They can be replaced.”

“You make it sound like he’s a machine,” Hinata said harshly. Kageyama flinched; he had never heard Hinata so upset before.

“Hinata,” Kageyama repeated, louder this time. He felt Hinata shift next to him.

“Yeah?” he said, his voice still strained from his frustration against the doctor. Hinata’s voice suddenly sounded closer, and Kageyama could hear the gentleness despite the situation they were currently in. Kageyama gathered himself. After a few seconds, however, he could feel the tremble in his voice trying to resurface. Kageyama tried to force it down, determined to defeat the overwhelming emotions that had threatened to take over him lately. He made the decision a long time ago that, no matter what, he would not becoming a sobbing mess in front of people, especially Hinata.

 Hinata waited for Kageyama to calm himself. After a few wavering breaths, Kageyama spoke in a clear voice that could have fooled all but a few people in this world. “There’s clearly nothing you do, Doctor. Like you said, the opportunity had passed for me, at least for now. That’s – that’s fine.” Kageyama silently cursed himself for his stutter. “We will be on our way now.” Without waiting for an answer, Kageyama stood up and headed towards the direction of the door.

A wave of nausea washed over him as the blood rushed from his head. He almost laughed at how ironic it was; he could see the stars and swirls that accommodated dizziness when standing up too quickly, but the only things he could see were what his mind conjured up. Nothing else.

Kageyama’s hand went up to clutch his head as he took a staggering step backwards. Unfamiliar with this specific examination room, his hand caught the curtain that hung around the bed and his foot stumbled on the step stool that sat at the foot of the bed. His frantically searched for some purchase, but his hands found nothing but air. “Hin –”

A small body suddenly found itself on Kageyama’s back, supporting him. Kageyama heard a chair scrape back. Before Kageyama could understand what was happening, Hinata was already speaking, adjusting his weight to support both of them. “We’re fine, Doc. Please, take your seat again.”

“Are you sure?” the doctor said uncertainly.

“Yes.” Kageyama could feel Hinata shuffle his feet behind him. “Kageyama, are you okay?”

Kageyama flattened his lips, shame burning through his veins. “Yeah,” he managed.

“I’m going to move out from behind you, okay?” Hinata took a step to Kageyama’s left, keeping an arm behind him just in case. “That’s all today, Doctor. Thank you,” Hinata said curtly, ushering the two of them towards the door and out of the examination room.

Kageyama could hear the doctor’s feet shuffle behind them, and a click of the door as they continued forward in the hallway.

“Today’s appointment was a scheduled check-up, so there’s no follow-up fee for you. You are free to go.”

Free?

Kageyama let out a bitter laugh.

He needed to get outside. The hospital was suffocating, and he had to get away. Kageyama moved from Hinata’s grip and tried to walk through the waiting area from memory. He felt like he almost got to the doors that led outside of the hospital before he tripped on _something,_ not knowing what that thing was. He was able to right himself again, but he could already feel Hinata hovering by his elbow.

“I’m fine,” Kageyama said, irritation clear in his voice. He bent down and felt for the handles of the chair. Finding the cushions, he sat down and rested his elbows on his knees. “Just – just give me a minute.”

He felt a hand touch his knee. Although Hinata was taller than him when he was sitting down, Hinata had crouched down to speak to him. He knew that much. Hinata spoke in a low murmur, disregarding the shortness Kageyama had just spoken to him with.

“Look, we’ll figure this out at home too, okay? Just sit tight, the doctor wants me to get something from him.” Hinata stood up and gave Kageyama quick peck on the forehead before he was gone from Kageyama’s side.

Guilt hung heavy in the air Kageyama breathed in. Kageyama knew Hinata was only trying to help, but it was just so frustrating. In the five years he had known Hinata, Kageyama had always been the one to take care of him. To reel him back whenever he goes running off, to make sure he’s drinking enough milk to strengthen his bones, to comfort him when he didn’t hit his spikes just right.

But now, it was Hinata taking care of him. Hinata, seeing the weaknesses that Kageyama rarely showed in front of him. Kageyama hated it. How much patience did Hinata have? How long would he put up with _this_?

Kageyama sighed inwardly, digging the palms of his hands into his eyes. After a while, he removed them, and put them over his eyes again. It seemed like it had been only yesterday that he was still able to see vague shapes. The sunshine, the mess Hinata made in the kitchen, Hinata’s bright orange head running around their apartment. His lips twisted themselves in a wry, sad smile.

“I don’t like this guy.” Hinata returned, a pout apparent in his voice. “He gave me this piece of paper –” Kageyama heard Hinata crumble it in his hands, “ – and just expected me to go, like everything’s fine.” Hinata continued, trying to mimic the doctor’s tone of voice. “’Make sure to go to the pharmacy, _use that prescription,_ so you can get a discount on the white cane!’ I mean, geez!”

 _A white cane_.

“Hinata.” Kageyama stood up and reached out for Hinata, feeling the need to just _hold him_. But, he let his hands fall. He didn’t want the disappointment of reaching for him and touching _nothing_. “Isn’t it funny that I can’t see the difference whether I have my eyes opened or closed now?” Kageyama heard a sharp intake of breath. “My life just became a lot simpler, didn’t it?”

Kageyama’s shoulders began to tremble, and his blind eyes looked down. His hands balled into fists, and just when he thought he would go over the edge, he felt familiar fingers touch his hands, lacing them between his own. Hinata took Kageyama’s hand and lifted his arm, placing it around Hinata’s own slender shoulders. Kageyama gratefully leaned in, letting Hinata support part of him even though he was able to carry his own. “It’s going to be alright,” Hinata whispered.

Kageyama allowed a tear to escape the corner of his eye.

 _This,_ Kageyama thought, _this is what it will be like for the rest of my life._

 

_\---_

 

“On the bright side, you haven’t bumped into anything for the past few days.”

“It’s because you never clean up after the boxes we get from the grocery store, you idiot.”

“I forget.”

“Shut up.”

“Are you going to try and keep all the food on your plate today?”

“I said, _shut up._ ”

Hinata laughed as Kageyama took his white cane and hit the air with it. He misjudged how far away Hinata was standing. “Try again!”

“Don’t mock me,” Kageyama said angrily. He placed the white cane under his right arm and tentatively held the other one out. “Where are you?”

Not a second a passed when Hinata took Kageyama’s hand and placed it on top of his head. “Here!” The two boys stood there, just like that, for a few seconds. Kageyama took a deep breath. He shut his eyes, out of habit, and imagined Hinata, what he might look like with his hands on Hinata’s head. He allowed his hand to trail from Hinata’s hair, down the side of Hinata’s face, and rested it on his neck. Hinata stood completely still. Kageyama wondered what Hinata was thinking; it had always been easy to read what was on Hinata’s mind just by taking a glance at his face.

Kageyama gently wrapped his arm around Hinata and pulled him close to him into a hug. The white cane clattered on the ground as Kageyama lifted his other arm, tightly squeezing Hinata. Hinata’s small hands found his way to Kageyama’s shoulders, but Kageyama was able to rest his forehead on Hinata’s shoulders. He smiled; Hinata would probably have to be on his toes to reach the height required for Kageyama to do so.

“You know I don’t mean what I say, right?” Hinata said quietly, his breath tickling Kageyama’s ears.

“I know.” Kageyama and Hinata had agreed that, after a few days of moping around, they would try to live their life normally, even with Kageyama’s blindness. They would eat as usual, go to the store on Saturdays as usual, watch television as usual, joke around as usual. Those haven’t changed, but how they did those things had to change, a little.

It had been a month since their doctor’s visit, and they were getting accustomed to their new way of life. Kageyama had no problem moving around the apartment – he had to do it every night in the dark when he went to the bathroom in the middle of the night from drinking milk before he went to sleep – as long as Hinata cleared the unfamiliar items like boxes from their apartment. Watching television wasn’t an issue, either. He would use to watch what Hinata did, and Hinata kept his programs consistent enough that Kageyama could count on his memory to guide him through the weekly reruns.

Eating, though, was a bit harder. At first, he would push the food around his plate quite a bit, and most of it would end up on the table rather than in his mouth. To counter that problem, they bought bigger plates, but then Hinata would just give him more food. After stepping on a scale a week ago, Kageyama went back to his normal-sized plates when Hinata announced the five pounds that had magically found its way onto Kageyama. He also liked grocery shopping with Hinata, but Hinata sometimes would run off to grab something in another aisle, leaving a very abandoned and irritated Kageyama next to their cart. After a few Saturdays, though, they both had begun to learn as Hinata stayed by Kageyama’s side while they were out and Kageyama became more used to using his white cane. The first time he got it, he would just hoist it over his shoulder and walk normally, but that caused more problems than just getting in his way. He was learning little by little, although there was always room for improvement.

“You’re doing great,” Hinata continued, breaking away from Kageyama, slipping his hand into Kageyama’s.“You really are.”

“It’s easier when I have someone like you around to help me,” Kageyama mumbled, lightly squeezing Hinata’s hand. Kageyama couldn’t see Hinata smile, but he was almost positive Hinata was when he received a small kiss on his lips from him.

“Come on,” Hinata said, pulling on Kageyama. “Lunch is almost ready. What do you think I made you today?”

Kageyama sniffed the air as Hinata guided him to his seat. “I smell curry, I’m sure – and a little bit of onions…Pork curry?”

“Ding ding ding!” Hinata exclaimed as the scent suddenly grew stronger. Hinata pressed the chopsticks in his hand and sat at his spot at the table, next to Kageyama.

“ _Itadakimasu!”_ they exclaimed at the same time.

Kageyama carefully reached out to feel if he had to adjust the plate closer or further away from him. He was surprised when his fingers touched something that was rounded. His hand explored the new surface in front of him. “Is this a…bowl?”

Kageyama made a disgusted face at Hinata’s “yup!” that was muffled by a mouthful of food. “I don’t know why we didn’t think of this sooner, actually. That way, you don’t have to worry about that food getting pushed over the plate’s edge.”

Kageyama’s mouth formed a small smile. “Thank you.”

“Huh?” Hinata was already on his second mouthful.

Kageyama set his chopsticks down, reached out, found Hinata’s head, and lightly pushed it. “Seriously, do you ever _not_ talk with your mouth full?” He picked up his chopsticks again after securing his bowl in his other hand. “But really – thank you.”

Hinata didn’t say anything, but Kageyama felt Hinata rest his head on Kageyama’s shoulder, small movements at Hinata’s temples giving his chewing away. Kageyama carefully lifted his hands that held his chopsticks as to not disturb Hinata, but Hinata shifted so Kageyama was able to use his shoulder’s full range all the while keeping a head on Kageyama.

Kageyama broke the over-easy egg he knew Hinata would have added over his rice. With gusto, he dug in, enjoying every bite. Ever since he lost his sight, he developed a growing appreciation for his other senses. The June raindrops that pattered against the windowsill helped him sleep for when his blindness affected his sleep/wake cycle; the smell of strawberry shampoo wafting through the air as Hinata stepped out of the shower; the feel of the bumpy braille letters underneath his fingers as he learned to read once again; the taste of Hinata’s cooking that no longer surprised Kageyama about how tasty it actually was, despite Hinata’s seemingly careless nature.

As the two boys chewed their food in companionable silence, Kageyama felt, for the first time in a long time, a calm contentment settle over him. Things were different from how they were before, that was undeniable. But, there was something that he held closer to his heart than whatever had been thrown his way. With that, Kageyama knew he would be able to overcome anything.

 

\---

 

Kageyama shut his eyes. Even in the booth in the corner where he and Hinata sat, he could hear the whispers from people who thought that his lack of sight had somehow affected his hearing as well. He reached out and ran a hand through his hair, letting it fall over his already closed eyes. A single irritated tap on the hand from Hinata made him open his eyes again, but he pulled on his hair anyway.

“Kageyama, come on.”

“People are talking about me.”

“We came to this café so you wouldn’t have to cook while I’m gone at school. The university’s too far away for me to come check on to make sure you’re eating right. And the café’s close enough to the apartment that I’d feel okay for you to come here on your own,” Hinata countered easily. That came from being with Kageyama for the past five years. “Or, do you want to starve?”

“Of course I don’t want to starve,” Kageyama said, raising his voice a little. “It’s just that, there are people here.” He lowered his voice now. “People who can _see_ me.”

“Since when did you care about what people thought about you?” Hinata asked, which was a somewhat brutal blow to him.

“I don’t know – I usually don’t.” A short sigh from Hinata made Kageyama bring his hands down. He itched for a volleyball, something he could never play with again. His free fingers groped for his white cane instead. Upon touching the cool rubber handle, he slid it under the table. He closed his eyes again.

“You even started doing this at home,” Hinata said, exasperation lined in his voice. “Whenever I come home, you have your eyes closed.” Kageyama felt Hinata’s warm fingers on top of his tangled hands. “It’s just me, you know.”

Kageyama’s eyelids fluttered, but he kept them closed. “I know.”

“Do you? Really?”

“Yes!” Kageyama exclaimed, surprised at the sudden volume in his voice. He mustered up the strength to continue. Taking a deep breath, he sputtered, “I’m so – sorr –”

“Geez, don’t hurt yourself.”

Kageyama let out an annoyed sound and hung his head. Part of him was angry at Hinata for pushing him to open his eyes. He couldn’t see anyway – what was the point? A larger part of him, though, was frustrated at the fact that he was so worried about the _pity_ people gave him. All of his life, he had always tried to be his best. He worked hard, and got the credit he deserved. Never was he at the short end of the sympathy stick.

“What do they look like? My eyes,” Kageyama asked softly. “Do they look that different? How much did they change?”

It was Hinata’s turn to sigh. He took his hands off of Kageyama’s and Kageyama recognized the sound of Hinata running his fingers through his hair. Hinata remained silent.

“Just tell me,” Kageyama pressed. “You know I’d ask sooner or later. What is it?”

“I don’t know, they’re just – they’re different. That’s it,” Hinata finally answered.

Kageyama gave a swift and accurate kick under the table.

“Ow! Okay, okay! Fine!” Hinata whined. He took a deep breath and exhaled. “They’re still blue, you know. Like the deep sea blue you had before. But now, there’s just…they’re just a little glazed over. If you look really closely, you can see the blue underneath the glaze. But from far away…” Hinata paused. “It just looks – what’s that word – hazy. Fogged over – rheumy! They look rheumy.” He stopped again, unsure whether to continue or not. Kageyama could feel Hinata’s eyes on him. “Kageyama, don’t let that bother you. Come on.”

“Does it bother _you_?” Kageyama shot back, regretting those words as soon as he said it. He figured that his eyes were different, and as soon as people saw him, they’d know that he was blind. His grandfather had the same eyes: unfocused, always searching for something. He had always known that his genetics would produce useless eyes like them, but he never knew how much it would bother him.

It bothered him that he was bothered by it. But what would break his heart was if Hinata was bothered by them, too.

“How could you even think that?”

Kageyama’s heart stopped. The way Hinata said it – it was as though he was asking someone where the sky was. Something so blatantly obvious that any answer given would have made the responder sound stupid.

“I –”

“Seriously, you’re so dumb sometimes,” Hinata scolded.

“I was seriously concerned –”

“Kageyama, I think it’s time for you to get a haircut. It looks like your hair is starting to clog up your ears –”

Kageyama’s eyes finally flew open and looked in front of him, where Hinata would be. Hinata let out a laugh.

“Do you want to get kicked again?” Kageyama said, a slight accusation in his voice. “I was asking an honest question!”

“Yes, I know,” Hinata said, laughter rich in his voice. “And I gave you an honest answer.”

“You answered my question with one of your own!”

Kageyama could hear Hinata getting out of control across of him. He felt his face heat up in a blush.

As if reading his mind, Hinata said, “It’s a ridiculous question, but it’s alright.” Hinata cleared his throat and spoke in his usual chipper voice. “I remember when we first met, you literally did not care what I thought about you. Right?” When Kageyama blushed even further, he wanted to punch the grin out of Hinata’s voice. “ _Right?_ ”

“…Right.”

“Why would that change now? Why would it change for me, and for all of these people? You’re still you – just a little different. Why’s that bad?” Hinata paused. “Kageyama.”

“Well because – because we’re _together._ ”

“Wow, you hit the nail on the head.” Hinata sounded like Kageyama had just discovered the secrets of the universe. Kageyama squirmed in his seat. Hinata laughed again, a sound that was music to Kageyama’s ears. “Do you think something like _this_ could ever stop me from loving you? Never,” Hinata said, his voice low, just above a whisper. “I will _never_ stop loving you, Kageyama.”

Kageyama lifted his head and jutted out his chin, red in the face for a different reason this time. “You’re lecturing me.”

“Someone has to,” Hinata said with a small smile in his voice.

Kageyama reached across the table, and Hinata took his hands. He wished he could see Hinata’s bright eyes once again. He thought of an image of Hinata, smiling after hitting his first successful spike during volleyball practice at Karasuno High School. It seemed like such a long time ago, where Kageyama’s vision was still able to see perfectly, see his ace fly over the net, sending the ball whipping over the other side.

“But, I did get you something. I know this issue isn’t going to go away overnight, so…”

Hinata released a hand from Kageyama and rummaged in his bag. After he dumped a few things on the table and more shaking, Hinata pressed something into Kageyama’s hands. Kageyama turned it over in his palms, but it didn’t take long for him to figure out what it was.

“Glasses?” Kageyama inquired, feeling the plastic lenses. “Sunglasses, right?”

“Yup!” Hinata said. Kageyama could feel Hinata bounce in his seat. “They’ll look good on you, trust me. But you know, you don’t have to wear them unless you want to,” Hinata finished quickly. “I just know how antsy you get in public, and I thought these would help…I mean, people would still know, but maybe…”

“They’re perfect,” Kageyama said softly. He really meant it, too. Everywhere he went, he would always hear a “Look at his _eyes,_ what color are they even?” or a “Poor guy, he’s got to be – I mean, with eyes like that –”

But, with this simple, yet precious gift from Hinata, Kageyama felt like he could be more at ease.

“Really?” Hinata asked enthusiastically. “You think so?”

“Of course. You got them for me.”

“Ah – I’m so glad!” Hinata breathed a sigh of relief. “I was worried you’d be mad, but I wasn’t sure what else to get you –”

“Really.” Kageyama’s fingers wandered the table and found Hinata’s hands. “They’re wonderful. Thank you, Hinata.” Kageyama could feel his ears heat up; it had always been Hinata who would be affectionate. But right now, Kageyama felt like he was on Cloud Nine.

“Just one condition, though.”

“Hmm? What’s that?”

Hinata ran his thumb across Kageyama’s knuckles. “Don’t wear them in the apartment. It’s just me, right?”

Kageyama smiled. Returning the gesture, he said in a voice low enough that only the two of them could hear, “I promise.”

 

\---

 

Kageyama counted the chimes that resounded from the small clock in the living room. _One, two, three, four, five._

It was five o’clock, which meant that Hinata would be home from school soon. Kageyama had been frustrated that he couldn’t finish this year at the university with Hinata – braille textbooks were scarce to come by and he was still slowly making his way through long words – but Hinata promised they could enroll in the following semester together that began their third year. Kageyama had grumbled along in agreement, but it left a slightly frustrated and very bored Kageyama at home.

Having a lot of time to himself, however, had its perks. Kageyama, for one, took up cooking, even though Hinata wasn’t convinced at first. It took yelling, name-calling, and pleading for Hinata to finally agree to let Kageyama boil some water for his afternoon tea. Water-boiling soon evolved into cooking scrambled eggs for breakfast, but it was nearly impossible to get Hinata to even entertain the idea of his blind boyfriend handling knives under supervision, let alone while Hinata was gone. The battle was somewhat won, although Kageyama wanted to stab him when Hinata got him a Nylon knife set meant for children, but at least it got the job done. Kageyama had not cut himself once, but every day when Hinata came home, he would give Kageyama a look-over before Kageyama was off the hook. Hinata, though, was also happy with this new development, since he would have less work ahead of him when he came back home after a long day. With all the food Kageyama nicely sliced and diced, all that was left to do was to cook the actual food. Kageyama had tried to convince Hinata that if he could cook breakfast, he could cook dinner, only to be ignored with out-of-tune humming from Hinata. It was definitely better than eating at the café every day, though.

Nonetheless, Kageyama was glad he was able to help out. He fell into a comfortable routine; his days started at six o’clock to make breakfast and pack Hinata’s cold lunch, then he would try, using multiple attempts, to try and wake Hinata up. After Hinata rushed out the door with a piece of toast half-hanging out of his mouth, Kageyama would practice his braille and take his lunch after a couple of hours. Most of the afternoon was filled with him touching various things to remember what sorts of item had what kind of texture and shape, then he would do some minor cleaning before preparing for dinner. It was a modest and consistent living, but Kageyama didn’t mind it.

He never even expected to be able to do all of this four months ago. Where Hinata had to take charge after they got back from the hospital, it felt nice that he was able to take care of Hinata now, even if it was in a different way than before.

Kageyama heard the jingle of keys before the footsteps that approached his front door. He fumbled for his sunglasses in his pockets out of habit, but then rested his hands on the countertop. He had promised Hinata that he would never wear them in the house, and he worked to keep that promise.

“ _Tadaima!_ ” Hinata chimed in after closing the door behind him. Before waiting for Kageyama’s reply, Hinata called out, “Kageyama, I’m putting your white cane near the couch since you don’t use it in the apartment, okay? I don’t like it getting in the way of the door.” Hinata kept on speaking as he took his shoes off and put his bag away. “So you know you were wondering what you could do for work, being blind and all?” Kageyama sighed at Hinata’s bluntness. “I think, like what you said last night, once you get good enough at it, you could totally teach braille! It’s easier to learn with a teacher than by yourself, right?”

Kageyama was surprised that Hinata had remembered what he said. He had waited all day to tell Hinata of his idea, worried that Hinata would say no. But when Kageyama finally told Hinata, Hinata was already falling asleep on his chest, drool ready to dribble all over Kageyama’s shirt. “You think so?” Kageyama asked, uncertain.

“Yeah!” Kageyama heard Hinata’s footsteps approach him and soon, his hands found Hinata’s back as he pressed him into a hug. Kageyama suddenly felt so grateful for him, for this moment. Hinata stood on his toes and kissed Kageyama quickly before he pulled away to check Kageyama’s hands, but Kageyama’s left hand caught Hinata’s chin gently. He tilted Hinata’s head up, and could feel the smaller boy breath out slowly.

“They’re fine,” Kageyama said lowly. He didn’t know his breath stirred Hinata’s hair at his temples. “See?” He held his right hand for Hinata to see, turning it front and back. He then held onto Hinata’s chin with his right hand and showed Hinata his other in the same manner. “Happy?”

“I will be soon, I think,” Hinata said quietly.

Kageyama smiled and carefully lowered his face towards his boyfriend’s face. After months of practice and fumbling, Kageyama was getting better at finding his lips on Hinata’s. Tonight, he passed his own test.

He pressed his lips into Hinata’s, gently at first, before applying more pressure. Hinata reacted immediately to Kageyama’s force, and had to place a small, slender hand at the back of Kageyama’s neck for support, eager to close the distance between them. Kageyama pushed Hinata even closer to him as he placed a hand on the small of Hinata’s back. Kageyama knew that was a sensitive spot for Hinata, and Hinata opened his mouth in response to Kageyama’s touch. A shock of electricity ran though Kageyama as their tongues first touched, then danced together as their kiss deepened. Kageyama made a low sound in his throat, and his fingers expertly hooked into the belt loops of Hinata’s pants. He could feel Hinata laugh against him as Hinata lifted Kageyama’s shirt and swept a thumb across his waist, making Kageyama shiver despite the evolving heat between their bodies. Kageyama’s heart sped up, threatening to break his chest open. Hinata quietly moaned; he pushed Kageyama against the counter and Kageyama braced himself. Kageyama broke away and was about to trace kisses down Hinata’s neck when Hinata suddenly backed away from him. Hinata, though, trailed his hand down Kageyama’s arm and held his hand to let Kageyama know he was still there.

“Why did we stop?” Kageyama asked stupidly, blinking.

“Because I can’t have dessert before dinner, Kageyama. Didn’t you learn better?” Hinata asked, mischief dripping in his voice. Kageyama shuddered and buried his head in a hand.

“You’re possibly the world’s most hated human being right now,” Kageyama breathed, his heart still racing from that heated kiss. He felt Hinata shift. Hinata brushed a hand underneath Kageyama’s still partially lifted shirt before placing it on the counter beside him.

Hinata leaned in. In a voice that Kageyama had heard enough times but still caused his whole body to buzz with anticipation, Hinata whispered, “You won’t be saying that after I’m done with you tonight.”

Kageyama gulped. "I think I did hear you say once that we could have dessert before dinner, once in a while,” Kageyama replied back. Unable to contain himself, he easily hoisted Hinata up. Hinata’s arms looped around Kageyama’s neck, excitement bubbling out of the smaller boy. Kageyama’s sure footsteps carried them to the bedroom, where their laughs resounded behind the closed door.

 

\---

 

Kageyama was in the shower when the ringtone he set for Hinata sounded from his cell phone. He shut the shower off and shook the soap out of his ears before reaching out for his phone. Finding it, he flipped it open. “Hello? Is everything okay? You don’t usually call –”

“Kageyama I found these coupons for the really, _really_ nice restaurant just outside the city that we had wanted to go to, like they were passing out coupons at school because they’re just promoting their opening soon –”

“Hinata –”

“ – and they want people to try their menu and I saw _so much meat_ on the menu, and it’s fifty perfect off, it’s only for tonight Kageyama, and I know I have a test tomorrow but –”

“ _Hinata –”_

“ – it looks so good, and the prices aren’t that bad either, and I took an extra shift this weekend for work anyway, and did I say that the coupon says _fifty percent off –_ ”

“ _Hinata!”_

“Huh?”

“You dumbass, slow down!” Kageyama put the phone back down on the counter and found the speaker button. “Start from the beginning. What were you saying?” Kageyama asked as he began to towel off.

He heard Hinata take a deep breath. Kageyama prepared himself for another tirade. “Slowly,” Kageyama added quickly before Hinata could begin speaking. Hinata let out a breath.

“I got a coupon from school today,” Hinata started slowly. “They were passing them out for the nice restaurant we wanted to go for our anniversary next month – remember the one?” Kageyama couldn’t help but smile as he heard the eagerness in Hinata’s voice. He couldn’t believe it had been almost six years since they kissed under that stupid mistletoe.

“Yeah, I remember,” Kageyama said fondly. “Go on.”

“Anyway, they wanted people to try their menu before they opened next month, so they’re just handing these coupons out for fifty percent off your bill, and I thought – why not? We could have a pre-anniversary celebration, can’t we?”

Hinata had so much enthusiasm in his voice, it was hard for Kageyama to say no. But, it was also hard for Kageyama to pass up this opportunity to mess with him.

“No way, Hinata,” Kageyama said sternly. “You have your teaching practicum tomorrow. Have you even studied?”

“What? Of course I did!” Hinata said his voice becoming twice as loud.

“Liar.”

“Am not!”

“I’ve been busy, okay? Working! Which is why we can afford this meal tonight! So let’s go!” Hinata said, frustration taking over. Kageyama grinned.

“You’ve been working so you haven’t had time to study. And besides, if tonight’s meal is half-off, then we can wait another month for your next paycheck to come in before we go to the real thing. We can still afford it, right? We’ve been saving. Don’t you think it’ll be more meaningful if we went on our actual anniversary?”

Hinata paused on the other end. The longer the silence drew out, the more worried Kageyama became. Kageyama had wanted to try their pork rice for _ages,_ ever since he heard a commercial for it. Hinata wasn’t seriously considering it, was he…?

“I guess you’re right, Kageyama,” Hinata whined on the other end. “Waiting won’t hurt, I think.”

Kageyama almost dropped his towel. “You’re – you’re really thinking about not going tonight?”

“Yeah, I mean, my practicum’s tomorrow. We’ll find another time!” Hinata promised. “Unless that… _bothers you._ ”

Kageyama groaned.

“I _knew_ you were messing with me!” Hinata cackled. “Don’t think you can fool me, Kageyama-kun!”

“Shut up,” Kageyama said, feeling warm inside.

“So, we’re going tonight?”

Grudgingly, “Yes.”

Kageyama was surprised at how loud Hinata could scream even after all these years of being with him.

“Okay, I’m texting the address to you, okay?” Hinata said in a hurry. “It’s between our apartment and the university, but I’ll make the reservation for six-thirty under my name – Ah crap, the six-thirty slot was taken up; that’s okay, I’ll sign for six forty-five – there! All set! Did you get all that, Kageyama?”

“Yes, yes. Don’t worry.” The sight of Hinata in front of the restaurant representatives clawing for a spot made Kageyama laugh. Excitement suddenly washed over him. He thought about what he should wear, hoping that he put his clothes in his closet properly, in order his memory served him.

“Okay, great!” Hinata said happily. “I’ll see you in a few hours! I have to run now, class started five minutes ago, haha. Anyway, see you later! Oh, and before you go, make sure to bundle up – I think we’re supposed to get a small snow storm tonight. Okay, bye! Love you!”

“Love you,” Kageyama managed to get in before Hinata hung up.

His phone buzzed, indicating that he received a text from Hinata. He pressed 0 button and commanded his phone to read the address out. It was in the exact place he had thought it was. Using the wall as a guide as to not accidentally slip on any stray water drop on the ground, he moved from the bathroom to their room to get ready for their anniversary dinner, a month early, tonight.

Kageyama set alarms in one-hour intervals to make sure he didn’t spend too long in the apartment. It was three o’clock right now; Hinata had said there would be a small storm tonight – it was odd; they usually didn’t get snow until mid to late December, and it was only late November – so he made sure to give himself plenty of time to get ready. He flipped the TV on, and the default weather channel forecasted the weather for tonight. It seemed like the snow would start falling at six o’clock, so Kageyama would leave the house by five thirty to make it to the restaurant in time. Hinata would probably be cutting it really close, but the restaurant was closer to the university than the apartment was. That was alright, Kageyama didn’t mind waiting. He had learned to be patient with Hinata, especially since Hinata had been patient with him.

Kageyama racked his mind with the layout of his closet, unsure of what to wear. Hinata’s favorite color was green; he didn’t have a green suit, but he had a green tie _somewhere_. He pulled out a drawer in their chest and ran his hand down the ties and handkerchiefs, half of them unused. He distinctly remembered that the green tie and handkerchief were both made of silk, and soon he felt the cool material under his touch. He felt for the bed and carefully put them on the corner before snapping each hanger back while trying to remember where he put his dark navy suit. After he found it, he placed the suit set on the bed next to his accents, lastly pulling out a crisp white polo from the drawer underneath the first one he had gone through.

In fifteen minutes, he had fully dressed himself, grateful that his fingers still remembered how to tie a tie even though it had been months since he’d watched it happen. He folded the handkerchief into a somewhat triangle and placed it into his suit pocket, feeling how “triangular” it actually was. _Good enough._

He tucked his tie into his suit, affixed the golden buttons, pulled on his cuffs, and ran a last hand down his chest to dust anything off of him. Feeling like this would be the best he would look tonight, he turned off the TV, shrugged on his coat, and walked out with his white cane, listening to the address on his phone one last time.

 

\---

 

The snow had begun to fall earlier than what was predicted. When it started, it fell heavily and surely. By the time Kageyama arrived at the restaurant, it was six-twenty already. He was still early, but he was a little concerned about the snow. Three inches had already accumulated on the roads, which was why it took him a little over an hour to arrive where it would have otherwise taken him half an hour.

Snow aside, other guests managed to arrive at the restaurant. Guests chatted amiably at their tables, the bar tender was making friendly conversation with his customers, and Kageyama could feel the friendly atmosphere he walked into. There was ambient music playing in the background; upon careful listening, Kageyama thought he was able to name the current piece as Samuel Barber’s “Adiago for Strings.” He was surprised he was able to recall the name of the piece, but after losing his sight, classical music was something he turned to often. Kageyama felt at ease at the restaurant.

He brushed the snow that had fallen on his coat on his way from the taxi to the restaurant’s entrance. As he walked over to the host’s stand, he suddenly remembered that he had forgotten his sunglasses at home. It occurred to him that he hadn’t had to use them for a while, and he let out a small smile at that improvement.

“May I help you, sir?” the host asked.

Kageyama felt very young and out of place in this luxury restaurant. “Hello. Uhm, yes,” Kageyama replied, slightly fumbling. “I have a reservation for two at six forty-five under the name of Hinata Shoyou.”

There was a pause before the host spoke up again. “Yes sir, right this way! Your table has been prepared already. Please follow me. Er – Do you need assistance?”

“That’s fine, I can manage on my own. Thank you for the offer.”

“Of course, sir.”

Kageyama followed confidently, his white cane barely making taps on the ground as it guided Kageyama where to go. Soon, they arrived at the table, where the host indicated Kageyama’s seat with a slight and audible tap.

“You have arrived a little early, sir. Would you like a drink while you wait?”

“I will have a glass of milk, please.” Kageyama pulled his chair closer to the table and tentatively put his hands on the edge.

“Right away, sir. Would you like to peruse a menu while you wait? We have one written in braille for your convenience.”

“I’m alright, thank you for the offer,” Kageyama said, his heart already stubbornly set on the pork curry rice. He doubted it would be better than Hinata’s but it _was_ his favorite food, after all.

“Of course.” With a small sound Kageyama made out to be a bow, he was soon left alone at the table. He began to feel around the table to figure out what the placement was like. He first reached out and immediately came into contact with the glass plates; there were two, one was smaller than the other. Kageyama moved his hands to the right side of the plates, where he felt two cool, straight, metallic objects – knives. One, he determined was smaller than the other. The forks on the left reflected the placement of the knives. Kageyama then slid a finger across the plate, his motion parallel to the knives and forks. There, he felt a pair of ceramic chopsticks perched on their holder, ready to be used.

 _They serve both Western and Japanese food here,_ Kageyama concluded, impressed.

“Excuse me, sir, the milk you ordered.” The voice that had spoken was different from the first; it wasn’t the host that stood before him this time, but their waiter.

“Thank you,” Kageyama replied.

“I have put it right above the forks, sir,” the waiter informed. “Would you like any other refreshments?”

“No, that would be all,” Kageyama replied, trying to keep his composure as he imagined a glistening glass of whole, white milk just in his reach. “Thank you.”

The waiter bowed out, and Kageyama carefully reached out for the glass. He grasped his fingers firmly around it, the glass already condensing. With his milk in one hand, he fished for his phone out from his pants pocket and placed it on the table in case Hinata were to call him. He then began his wait.

 

\---

 

Kageyama frowned when the grandfather clock in the dining room chimed seven times. He was already on his second glass of milk – slowly sipping it this time – but he put it down to make a call to Hinata. He pressed a free finger in his other eat, trying to block out the chatter that began to flit about the restaurant. Hinata’s phone went straight to voice mail, but Kageyama knew that Hinata never bothered putting the sound on for his phone. Hinata probably had just missed his call. He decided to text Hinata – which he rarely did – and he was glad he was able to buy a phone with braille on its keyboard. He sent the text out and continued to wait, each passing minute causing the worry in his heart to grow.

\---

“Sir, it is about to be nine o’clock.”

“What was that?” Kageyama turned towards the voice that spoke, slightly disoriented by the growing volume in the restaurant.

“I’m sorry sir, but it is nine o’clock,” the waiter repeated. Just then, the grandfather clock chimed nine times, the two gentlemen quiet during its song.

Now, Kageyama was really worried. “I apologize – my partner said he would be here by six forty-five.”

“Of course,” the waiter said understandably. “Unfortunately, because this reservation was not filled by your allotted time, we must forfeit the table to other guests, who have been waiting for a free table.”

Kageyama gripped his white cane with tight fingers. “Of course,” he said in a tight voice. Any other times, Kageyama would have been _livid_ if Hinata was this late. But for some reason, Kageyama felt very uneasy. It wasn’t like Hinata to be this late to begin with, especially for a restaurant that he had been so excited to go to since he had first heard about it. “I apologize for the inconvenience,” Kageyama said, concern tinged in his voice.

Kageyama carefully stood up and fished for his wallet. He pulled out some bills and placed them on the table to cover the two milks he drank. “If you could show me the way out,” Kageyama stated, trying to hide the worry in his voice.

“My pleasure, sir,” the waiter replied. He respectfully put two fingers on Kageyama’s elbow and tugged him in the direction they were headed. “I will go ahead.”

Kageyama nodded and followed after the waiter took three steps away from him. He remembered the way to the table, but he didn’t want to risk running into anyone since there were more people in the restaurant now. As he thanked the waiter on his way out, his sensitive hears overheard a conversation taking place by the door between a man and a woman. He decided to stop and leaned it a little closer to the speaking voices.

“ – terrible, the car just swerved into the sidewalk,” the woman continued, her voice grim.

“It was icy though – the city didn’t think it was going to snow until later,” the man replied, reflecting the woman’s mood. “They had just sent the salt trucks out. They should have seen the snow coming, maybe then it wouldn’t have happened.”

“Right outside the university, too, right when classes got out.” The woman tsked. “I hope they’re all okay.”

Kageyama stopped breathing. Unconsciously, he moved closer to the voices, not caring that he was bumping into people on his way.

“I heard there were at least a dozen casualties – the car ran into the stores along the street, too.” The man heaved a sigh.

“That’s terrible, it really – Excuse me, may I help you?”

Kageyama knew the woman’s voice was directed towards him. He hadn’t realized how close he had gotten, with the noise in the restaurant. “Hello – yes, I’m sorry,” he said shakily, his knuckles white from gripping his cane. “What were you two just talking about? This is very important. Please.” His last word barely came out as a whisper.

“Oh,” the women said, her voice getting softer. “There was a car driving down the street leading into the university, and because of all of the snow, it swerved and drove right into the sidewalk, hitting pedestrians and some shops on the side of the road. Most of them were sent to Miyagi Hospital.”

Kageyama took a breath and felt his head become light. “Do you know who the people were who were hit?”

“If I recall correctly,” the man started, “they were students from Miyagi Univer –”

Kageyama didn’t even hear the man finish his sentence. He pushed away from them and towards what he guessed to be the door. Kageyama kept on running into people, his cane hitting them more frequently than his body was. He threw his aid aside and stepped out, the cold wind raising the hair on his skin. Even in this state, he could feel the snowflakes land on him, melting into his body and cooling it even further. He didn’t care.

“Taxi,” he called out hoarsely, using both of his hands to brace himself against the cement railing surrounding the steps in front of the restaurant. He thought he was going to suffocate, each breath harder than the last. His head began to ring, the worst beginning to become a reality. “ _Taxi!”_

 

_\---_

 

Kageyama almost forgot to pay the taxi driver as he climbed out of the car. It took another hour to get from the restaurant to the hospital, and all the taxi driver could talk about was that terrible, absolutely horrifying, completely unfortunate accident that had happened. Kageyama couldn’t even talk; he sat there, trying to control his breathing while hoping for the possibility that maybe, just _maybe_ , Hinata had told him the wrong address and that he was waiting angrily for Kageyama at another restaurant.

Even though the restaurant Kageyama went to took his reservation.

Even though Hinata didn’t answer his phone call.

Even though Hinata hadn’t replied back to his text.

Even though, after hearing the taxi driver talk, the street where the accident occurred would have had to have been the one Hinata had taken to get to their restaurant.

Only one road led out of Miyagi University.

Kageyama haphazardly reached into his wallet and threw all the cash he had at the driver, not caring if he overpaid or underpaid. With careless strides, he strode into the hospital. His body bumped into the automatic doors before they let him in.

“Sir?” a hesitant voice called out.

 _A nurse,_ Kageyama thought. He headed towards the voice that beckoned to him, panic constricting his chest.

“Sir, are you alright?”

“Where – where would I go to find patients who had just been – in – in an accident?” Kageyama sputtered, out of breath. “Where –”

“Are you referring to the accident that happened outside of the university?”

Kageyama nodded as she responded to him.

“They’ve been taken to the first floor – is there a name you’re specifically looking for?”

_He’s not just a name, he’s my –_

“Hinata. Hinata Shoyou,” Kageyama said in a small voice. “Hinata…”

Kageyama heard some clicking, and it wasn’t long before the nurse spoke again. “He’s in room 110. The elevators are to your –”

Kageyama rushed forward, remembering where the elevators were, his memory providing him with the way despite the growing alarm in his head. They were right across of the examination room he had been in just a few months ago.

He pressed the up button continuously until the elevator arrived. Stumbling in the elevator for the numbers on the wall, it took him a few tries to find the button for floor “1.” The elevator ride up seemed to take a lifetime.

After he arrived on the floor, his hands ran against the wall for the braille characters that indicated the room number. He felt “101” and realized that he was on the wrong side. Frustrated at the time he was wasting, Kageyama strode to the other side and felt for “102.” When he found it, he counted under his breath until he got to room “108.” For the first time tonight, he slowed down, his feet stuck right outside of the room right before Hinata’s room.

Kageyama’s breathing became even more erratic, the possibility becoming too real. He shut his eyes and forced himself to keep standing even though every part of him wanted to slide down and wall and curl into a small ball. He wanted to wake up from this nightmarish reality, to give up and see Hinata’s smiling eyes. But, it wasn’t possible. He willed himself to take a shaky step forward.

As he approached the room, Kageyama heard some muted voices speak from deep within the room. Even though the door was opened, Kageyama couldn’t move his feet anymore forward. He stood right outside the room, his hands gripping the door frame as. He tried to breathe more quietly as he struggled to hear the quiet murmurs from inside the hospital room.

As Kageyama focused his hearing, he could hear a heart monitor indicating that it had gone flat; Kageyama did not know how long it been making that noise. Someone had unplugged it because it stopped making a sound altogether; had it been making a noise for that long of a time that they felt the need to stop it? Kageyama shut his eyes and opened them again, sweat breaking out underneath his hairline.  He was then able to hear the doctors quietly speak to the nurses in the room. His blood ran colder than the storm that raged outside. The doctors were speaking, as though they were reciting something.

“…has undergone four resuscitation attempts. Respiration is absent, cardiac response nonexistent, and the brain is nonresponsive as well. Every attempt to wake the patient has failed.” A pause. Kageyama held his breath. Then: “Cause of death was trauma to the head by a traffic post, with aid from a sharp metal shrapnel from a mailbox adjacent to where the patient had been standing.”

No.

“The time of death was 10:19pm.”

_No._

“The patient was a twenty year old male…”

_No._

_No._

_No._

“…Hinata Shoyou.”

 

\---

 

Kageyama was half aware of the strong arms that pulled him back from the side of the bed. He wasn’t sure whose they were but their voices were similar to those of the doctors. He thought he had been screaming Hinata’s name, but what he remembered the most were the tears that streamed down his blind eyes as he fought the force that held him back.

_Hinata._

_Hinata._

_Hinata, come back,_ he had allowed himself to say.

He pushed one of them back and managed to grab the sheet. His fingers fumbled and eventually found Hinata’s.

Hinata’s fingers were cold.

They had always been warm, even in the dead of winter.

They were _cold. Cold, cold, cold._

Kageyama could feel his heart tear itself in half.

He brought Hinata’s limp hand to his forehead, his tears falling onto the bedspread, onto Hinata’s fingers. Sobs wracked his body as cried, yelled, _pleaded_ for Hinata to wake up from this sick joke. Kageyama began to rock back and forth, each scream louder than the last.

_Hinata._

_Hinata._

_Hinata._

Kageyama began to yell at him for missing dinner, that he was so angry Hinata was late, but he would forgive him, because Kageyama _loved_ him, loved him _so, so, so much,_ he would do _anything,_ because Kageyama loved, _loved_ –

Stronger arms pulled at Kageyama this time, roughly placing a gaping distance between Kageyama and his other half. No matter how much Kageyama struggled and fought, he continued to be pulled back, as though weighed no more than a ragdoll. His front felt cold as Hinata’s warmth diminished.

 _Funny,_ Kageyama allowed himself to think as he was hauled out of Hinata’s room, _how I promised myself never to cry in front of people, including…._

Kageyama fell limp, his chest heaving, tears streaming down his face as he was taken away from Hinata.

_I’m sorry, Hinata._

_I’m sorry._

_I’m so sorry._

 

\---

 

The doorbell rang incessantly all morning, the buzz sounding in Kageyama’s ear even after the lawyers had stopped pressing it. Kageyama wished he could go deaf as well.

He didn’t trust lawyers, especially them. He simply did not want to see them.

Why didn’t they understand that?

“Kageyama-san,” one of them said into the intercom. Kageyama rolled over in the bed, pressed a pillow over his ears, and shut his eyes tight. “Please, give us half an hour of your time.”

_No._

“Once we settle this, you’ll never see us again, we promise,” the other one said.

_Liar._

“We need to discuss Hinata-san with you.”

Something burned inside of Kageyama, leaving him with a sudden emptiness.

_I already buried him._

_Go away._

“It wasn’t your fault, Kageyama-san, please.”

_That was what Sawamura-san and Sugawara-san had said._

_That was what Tanaka-san and Azumane-san had said._

“The will – you are the prime reviewer – we need you to sign –”

_Liars._

Kageyama splayed out of his back, staring with blind eyes at the ceiling. His arm spread to his left side, hoping he could still feel the warmth that Hinata would leave behind right after he got up to start his morning. Instead, Kageyama touched cool, vacant sheets.

The doorbell rang again. Kageyama ignored it. He took his covers and pulled it over himself, unable to fight the waves of loneliness that drowned him. He let out a broken sob as a tuneless song began to play in his head.

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine; you make me happy when skies are gray...You never know, dear, how much I love you..._

_Please, don't take my sunshine away._

\---

“How are you doing, Kageyama-san? It had been a while since we had last seen each other. I heard you had become a teacher at the local school for the blind. That’s great news.”

Kageyama sat in the same examination room nearly a year ago, but there was something drastically different about his situation. An old ache began to throb again. Even months after Hinata’s accident, the apartment he came home to still felt too big.

“It’s been a little difficult,” Kageyama answered stiffly, nodding.

“I understand,” the doctor, the same one that they saw a year ago, said. Kageyama had to stop himself from laughing.

“Why did you call me in? I teach afternoon classes today.” _Hinata said I would be good at it, so I can’t be late._

“Yes, of course.” Kageyama heard the doctor fixed his glasses on his nose. Papers were shuffled around before the doctor spoke again. “I wouldn’t have otherwise if I could speak with you over the phone. But this information is somewhat – sensitive, I would say.”

“What is it?” Kageyama asked wearily.

“After some searching, we had deemed a possible donor for you. It took a while to settle, because of legal matters.”

A year ago, Kageyama would have been thrilled to hear the news. But now, Kageyama was just tired.

“That’s wonderful news.” Kageyama wished he felt the enthusiasm he would have felt, given different circumstances.

“There’s another caveat, however. It’s…Hinata-san.” The doctor paused, as if he wasn’t sure he should continue or not. After taking a short breath, he said, “Hinata-san’s eyes could be your new ones.”

Kageyama stopped the breath he was currently drawing in. A stillness settled over him.

“ _What did you say?”_

The doctor cleared his throat. “The lawyers approached me with the possibility, after considering the circumstance. Because Hinata had left everything to you – accordingly in his will, of course – everything in his possession, _everything_ , is at your disposal.”

Kageyama couldn't believe what he was hearing. He sat back, slowly comprehending what the doctor was telling him. “His possessions, everything? Do you think Hinata thought his ‘possession’ included his _body_? Disposal? What is he, an extra part of a machine?” Kageyama spat as animosity began to brew. He had to take a moment to control himself. Kageyama scoffed, absolutely shocked at what the doctor was saying. Sadness began to well up in Kageyama. “Will?” Kageyama said in a softer voice. “Hinata was _twenty years old_ , _do you think twenty year olds should be making wills_ , Doctor? I _buried_ him.” Sorrow bubbled in Kageyama. Even if it was true, even if Hinata _had_ left Kageyama with practically everything he owned, how could these lawyers even _suggest_ the idea, all to have the _doctor_ agree with it? “I was supposed to receive a pair of eyes a year ago,” Kageyama said, a still rage building up within him. “Through one, _one_ mistake, those eyes were given to someone incompatible, whose body _rejected_ them.” Kageyama laughed bitterly. “And now, you’re offering _Hinata’s eyes to me?_ ”

“Uhm, yes,” the doctor said. This was probably the most flustered Kageyama had heard him. “Surprisingly, you two are nearly a perfect match, even though you share no similarities in your DNA. The embalming process should have prevented decay, and of course, we’d have to unbury him –”

Kageyama stood up abruptly, his hands balling into fists. Kageyama held onto his anger in very thin, fiery, hot reigns. He took a sure step towards the doctor. “Apparently, you think it’s completely fine for me to open my eyes every morning, all to have Hinata’s eyes stare back at me in the mirror. And, you think I wouldn’t think twice about how _wrong_ that is.” Kageyama took another step, and he heard the doctor scrape his chair back. “Hinata was a living thing, a body, a soul, a _human being._ He is not something to be broken down for parts.” Kageyama could taste something disgusting in his mouth.  “If you think, Doctor, that there is a chance that I would ever, _ever,_ even consider this, then you should reassess yourself to see if you’re fit to be an actual human being.”

Kageyama spun around and headed towards the door. If he stayed much longer in the room, he might just show the doctor how upset he was. He forced himself to take another step, and another and another. Before he exited, he said in a voice just loud enough for the doctor to hear, “Do not call me about any more donors. Do not call me about any more treatment possibilities. Do not contact me at all. I am tired, and I am finished.” Without another word, Kageyama grabbed his white cane that had been leaning against the wall and exited the examination room easily, his memory laying out a map for him.

When he had said those words, the storm that had been raging in his heart had suddenly calmed. Realizing that had closed the door for any more possible solutions, Kageyama was nearly overwhelmed with a tranquil calm that washed over him. He would be blind for the rest of his life, but he was…okay with it. He was going to be okay with it.

 _Besides,_ he thought as he headed towards the doors leading out of the hospital, _there isn’t anything in the world I want to see anymore._

As he exited the hospital, the sun’s rays kissed Kageyama’s skin, spreading its warmth through his body. He stood underneath the sunlight, raising his face as he readied himself to face another day.

Kageyama smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> So, that was all! I hope I did KageHina justice; I love this pair to bits. Again, this idea was conceived through [craziiwolf's](http://craziiwolf.tumblr.com) artwork, so make sure to give her a round of applause and check her amazing work out!
> 
> Each scene served a purpose, although it might not be glaringly obvious. I apologize if some of it went on for too long! If you have any questions about any of the scenes - or any material at all - let me know!
> 
> Also, very sorry for the italics heavy last section. But you know. Drastic times call for drastic measures.
> 
> Did anyone catch the purpose behind the title, room number, and time of death? Just thought to throw a little fun thing in there (if "fun" is the right word)!
> 
> Again, leave me any notes on how I can become better! Thank you so much for reading this, any support means a lot! <3


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